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Tuesday,September 11, 2001.
After hearing that the second plane hit the World Trade Center, I left work and went home to call my National Guard unit. I didn't need Dan Rather to tell me it was a terrorist attack! I telephoned my unit, and was told to "stay put" and "check back" periodically for orders when they came down the chain of command. Needless to say, because of all the confusion that reigned throughout the afternoon, those orders never came. I spent some time getting my field gear in order and loading up the car. A final call to my unit around 6:15pm confirmed my suspicions that I was witnessing a classic Army SNAFU. Which stands for "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up", by the way. At 6:30pm I finally said "Fuck it!...I"m going!". I grabbed my rucksack and field gear and headed for the door with a protesting Sue hot on my tail. She couldn't seem to understand why I had to go. I remember saying something like, "I'm going, with or without your support, but I'd rather have your blessing when I go..." So out the door I went and hopped into my Ford Probe. I got onto the Parkway and headed north for New York. During the drive up to New York, I kept hearing on the radio that all the tunnels and bridges into Manhattan were closed. But since I was in uniform, I figured that I would be able to get through any roadblocks or checkpoints I happened upon. That assumption proved correct as I was waved through every roadblock all the way into Lower Manhattan. After crossing through the Holland Tunnel into Manhattan, I made my way onto West Broadway and parked my car at the corner of West Broadway and Worth Street several blocks north of the World Trade Center around 8:00pm. I grabbed my gear and headed south on foot towards the billowing smoke. The first thing I noticed was that except for a few emergency lights the electricity was out in the area. That was not much of a problem because of all of the emergency equipment that had the area lit up like it was daytime. I also noticed that everything was coated with a film of dust. The Fire Department was hosing down the streets to keep the dust out of the air as much as possible. As I made my way towards Barclay Street the dust became thicker and finally turned into a sort of gray mud that smelled of burnt rubber, paper and kerosene.(Thats what jet fuel is.) As I walked along, I saw that the definition of the word "chaos" was located at the intersection of Barclay Street and West Broadway. It had only taken me seven or eight minutes to reach Barclay Street on foot from where I'd parked and that walk was actually quiet and peaceful. But when I rounded that corner onto Barclay Street, I saw that all Hell had broken loose.
As I turned the corner right onto Barclay Street, I had to cross through a Police Barricade that the NYPD had set up to keep out the general public. I showed my ID card and asked where the Military Command Post was located. I was informed that there was no Command Post but that some of the military had taken over the Theater at the Mahattan Community College located around the corner on Westside Street. Walking around the corner and right again onto Westside Street I was able to get my first real look at the scene. Police and Firefighters everywhere, EMTs, Media, Gawkers, Rabbis, Priests and Relief Workers from the Salvation Army handing out food, coffee and bottled water. (Note; To the best of my knowledge, I never saw the Red Cross on scene at Ground Zero. If you want to give to a charity, give your money to the Salvation Army!) Looking up Westside Street to the north revealed a line of emergency equipment consisting of ambulances, fire equipment, construction equipment, etc. stretching up the street as far as the eye could see. (The next day I saw that the line of trucks was well over one mile long!) Turning around and facing to the south I could see emergency lights illumating the remains of the North Tower about 200 yards from where I stood. "Ohhhh Shit! and Jeeeesus Chrrrrrist!" were about the only things I could think to say at that moment. I stood for a few moments, gathered my thoughts then walked to the Theater. I entered the Theater of the Mahattan Community College at about 8:30pm. The power was out here as well, but the emergency lights were on. I pulled on the glass double door to open it and realized that some enterprising soul had taken a sledgehammer to it and smashed the glass out to gain entry. That earned a chuckle at least. Inside by my count, were about 42 Officers and men from various Military Services, but mostly Army. I put my name on a list along with some personal information and job skills that might be relevent to the job at hand. We were then formed into six man search squads, each with a Sergeant or Officer, someone with Search and Rescue(SAR) experience, a Medic, or someone with First Aid experience, and a couple of Searchers. Then something happened that I was expecting all along. Nobody in charge could make a decision. Nobody would take a stand and send us out to help. The excuses I heard were almost to numerous to list. But here's a few examples of excuses I heard from our "Officers". "We have not been formally activated...If we get activated, you have to report to your units...If you are not from the NY National Guard, you can't wear your uniform while searching...If you ARE from the NY National Guard, you can't search...You have to wear your uniform INSIDE OUT(WHAT?) while searching...We have no WRITTEN orders...If something happens, your insurance won't pay..." And on and on and on. I ended up in a shouting match with a Marine Corps Captain. I asked him if the guys at Pearl Harbor had written orders to shoot back on Dec. 7, 1941. And that I didn't give a shit about insurance at the moment. And as far as I was concerned, they could bill me. But at least I ended the sentence with "Sir" after I said "Fuck You" to him. You can say anything to an officer as long as you end it with "Sir". Anyway, sometimes officers are to concerned with their careers to be effective leaders. That's why the good officers are always in some sort of trouble! At any rate, shortly after our little "discussion", we were released to begin searching. But by this time, it was well past 2:00am in the morning.
With some free time on my hands, I grabbed my trusty Canon AE-1 and stepped outside. At this early morning hour things were relativly quiet along Westside Street. I got a cup of coffee from a Relief Worker and had a smoke. Some antismoking nazi actually came up to me and said I shouldn't smoke because it was bad for my health and his. Rolling my eyes, I told him that I don't normally smoke, I was only using the cigarette to filter the asbestes out of the air I was breathing. Bizarre, isn't it? The guys in the Space Station can see the smoke from Ground Zero and some idiot is complaining about my smoking. After I finished up my coffee I was able to find a respirator from the FDNY guys and I headed up the street towards Ground Zero.
Walking south on Westside Street towards the North Tower, I began to notice the enormous amount of paper everywhere. The paper a foot deep in some places. Most of the paper seemed to be bank or business related printer paper, although I did see some handwritten letters and personal photos scattered about. as I came closer, I also noticed many shoes strewn in the street and on the sidewalks. Most of these shoes were womens shoes of the high heeled variety. I can only surmise that the owners of these shoes had kicked them off of their feet in an effort to escape when the Tower collapsed. One sad sight was a baby stroller that was left there. The Firemen put it to good use though. The following morning I saw some of the FDNY guys using it to carry bottled water in. Continuing on, I began to come across wrecked equipment. Several destroyed Police cars, a wrecked ambulance, ruined Paramedic trucks, personal vehicles and a whole bunch of crushed and burnt out fire engines littered the area. Some appeared to have been dragged out of the way to clear the street and some appeared to have been left alone where they were. Also, it seemed that miles of tattered fire hoses were snaking up and down the street. It took a moment for me to realize that those old fire hoses belonged to Engine Companies that no longer existed. By now I had reached the entrance to the Subway near the base of the North Tower. Ahead of me about 50 yards away, I was able to get a good view of the situation. Heavy equipment operators were busy attacking the rubble of the North Tower. The North Tower itself appeared to have "pancaked" completly in on itself. The entire Tower was a pile of rubble maybe 50 feet high from my view. At that moment I knew that we were not going to find anyone alive. How can somebody with 110 stories coming down on them possibly survive? Looking back at the backhoe clearing the wreckage, I realized that they were only trying to open up a passage for recovery operations. In my estimate at the time, the "Search and Rescue" operations that were ongoing were going to be fruitless. Even though I also thought that we should leave no stone unturned in looking and giving it our best shot. After watching for a while and getting a good look at my surroundings, I decided it might be a good idea to go back to the Theater and get some rest. On the way back, I saw people sleeping in the strangest places. Firemen sleeping in the grass median that seperated the north and south lanes of Westside Street, Paramedics sleeping in wrecked ambulances, and some guys just sprawled out on the sidewalk sleeping with their masks on. Most people did try to find an indoor sleeping area just to get away from the choking dust that was permeating the area. Arriving back at the Theater I noticed that Mayor Guilanni's "Emergency Response Bus" had parked right outside the entrance to the building. I went inside and sat in one of those folding movie seats, put my feet up, and slept for about 3 hours. 
Wednesday, 12 September, 2001.
I woke up around 6 am and got out of my chair and stretched out. Every bone in my body
creaked from the position I had slept in. I didnt really get any sleep though. With people
coming and going all night, I catnapped more or less. After rising, I left the Theater in search
of some breakfast. I wasn't very hungry at the moment, but I figured that I had a rather busy
day ahead of me. Walking outside past Mayor Rudi's bus I went to the Salvation Army Stand
and had a cup of coffee and a bowl of fruit. I also grabbed a couple of breakfast bars and
some bottled water for later and stuffed them into my cargo pockets. After eating, I went back
inside and found an Officer to see what was up. He told me that a Army Times (a weekly
newspaper published by the Army) photographer would be arriving shortly and that I would
be detailed to escort him to the WTC site and to help keep him out of trouble if anybody
objected to him taking pictures. Since I happened to enjoy photography myself, I was more
than willing to accept this assignment. I was told to pick him up at the Pier along West Side
Street where the police had set up barricades at 9 am. I had met the photographer the night
before and I was aware of his appearance. That was a stroke of good fortune as I will relate
later.
Since I had two hours to wait, I decided to take a walk to Ground Zero. I walked south up
West Side Street and then left onto Barclay Street which was largely deserted at the time. I then
took the first right onto another street that connected Barclay and Vesey Streets and continued
south to Vesey Street. The street in this area was dry so a lot of dust was in the air, and I was
forced to put my mask on. At this point I could continue no further. Wreckage piled at least five
stories high blocked the entire area. The Trade Center appeared to have collapsed onto a
parking garage in this area. Except for some firemen spraying water into the smoldering debris,
this area was void of any rescue activity. I made my way around to see if there were any openings
to climb into. I saw several places where there seemed to be some voids that looked promising.
I climed into one and got about 20 feet before I realized I didn't have a light with me. I yelled out
for anybody who could hear me. No answer. So I made my way back out. I shouldn't have gone
in there in the first place because I was alone and nobody knew where I was at the moment. If
I had become stuck or trapped, I would have had a long wait for help to come!
By this time it was past 8 am, so I decided I'd better get going to the Pier to pick up the Army
Times guy. I had over a mile to walk so I brushed myself off and headed back to West Side Street.
As I headed north past the Theater where we were staying I became aware of the magnitude of
the rescue effort. Trucks of every size and description were lined up along West Side Street. Heres
a short list of what I saw; Firefighting Equipment, Ambulances, Construction Equipment, Military
Vehicles, Media Vans, Telephone Company Vans, Electric Company Trucks, Public Works Trucks,
Relief Services Trucks, Bulldozers, Backhoes, Cherrypickers, Cranes, and so on... There were some
bizzare examples as well; Portable Toilets, Several Ice Cream Trucks, Caterers, UPS, FED-EX, a
Hearse, a Snap-on Tool Van, and, of course, the Roto-Rooter Truck. It seemed to me, that, as a
particular piece of equipment was needed, word was sent out, and the needed vehicle was pulled
out of line and sent forward.
I also witnessed numerous people along the sidewalks holding up signs of encouragement north
of Canal Street . Signs like "We Love You", "Go USA", and so on. Since I happened to be wearing
my beret with our silver Unit Crest on it, people mistook me for an Officer, I must have been saluted
25 times along the way. Even Cops, who should have known better. At this time (8:30 am) on 12
September there were not many Military Personnel at the WTC site. My guess is less than 200
Servicemen. I tried to explain that I was not an Officer to the first few people, but I finally gave
up and just returned salutes as they were offered. As I began to get near the Pier, I could see
several THOUSAND people there jostling for a better view, or trying to make their way past the
Police barricade. The Police really had their hands full trying to sort out who could enter the area
and who couldn't. The only people getting through were Emergency Workers, Medical Workers
and Clergy. Most of the Media was also waiting there in vain to be let in. I had to deny several
requests from the Media (ABC, CBS, MSNBC) for interviews. Nothing gets you in trouble quicker
in the Military than talking to the Media. The Media knows about that too, because I was only
approached by female journalists in the hope that I would talk to them. But I just smiled and
said I would relay any requests to my Commander. (a side note; Some of the guys in my unit
said they saw me on TV, but I don't know if thats true or not.
A few minutes after 9 am, I recognized Warren Z. (The Army Times photographer) out of the
crowd. I pointed him out to the Police, who let him come through. As we walked back, we
discussed our plan of action for the day ahead. And he was kind enough to take a shot of me
standing along West Side Street.
We returned to the theater around 9:30 am to drop off excess equipment and
get our gear set up for the task at hand. We were greeted by an unwelcome
sight. Somebody had determined that the school would serve as an ideal
temporary Morgue. The entrance gate was being covered with tarps to hide the
courtyard from view from the street. This development was not good news for
us at the time. While I understood the need for such a facility, I could not
fathom the reasoning for putting a Morgue in the midst of the rescue workers.
The last thing people needed to see coming out of Ground Zero was a morgue
right in the same building where they would be resting. However, as events
turned out, the lack of bodies recovered during the first few days eliminated
the need for a Morgue at the Theater. After getting our gear ready we left the
Theater around 10:00 am. Warren Z. had thee cameras strapped around him,
Along with a Kevlar helmet, web gear, and BDU pants. I was wearing my
BDU uniform, web gear with canteen, ammo pouches, first aid kit, a
Mag-Lite, a fanny pack, my Kevlar helmet, dust mask, and leather gloves. In
addition, my pockets were stuffed with bottled water, candy, smokes, film, etc.
I also had my camera with me. A Canon AE-1 with a 35-75 f2.8/5.6 Vivitar
Zoom lens. I only had two rolls of 24 exp. ASA 200 Kodak print film. I am
still kicking myself about that. I had to stop for gas on the Parkway going to
New York, but I forgot all about buying film! Shit! Oh well, thats the breaks. I
knew that I would just have to make do with what I had. But looking back, my
problems were small indeed compared to what other people were going
through that day.
Also with us was SSG James B. He was a NY National Guard soldier who came to Ground Zero
on his own. SSG B. was one of the men who was responsible for bringing order out the the chaos
that reigned in the Theater the night before.
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